If you ask any guy for advice on talking to women, he may give you volumes on the subject.
“Make fun of them in a playful way…you know, to show them you are confident enough to do it,” says one of your buddies.
“Talk about the things in your life that you’re passionate about, but in a non-bragging way,” says another friend who claims to know what women want.
Well, I think both of those tips are pretty good if you know how to pull them off.
If not, you might succeed like the Karate Kid would in a match against MMA legend Anderson Silva (that is, not good).
The Art of Sumo
Now, I will not sit here and claim to be a Yokozuna in training, but there is something about the art of the Sumo wrestler that relates directly to talking to women.
Wait, let me clarify that. I meant to say “talking to women in a way that builds attraction” (which is why we’re here, right?!).
You see, to win at sumo wrestling, it’s simple. You can’t let your opponent push you around. Actually, it’s more complicated than that, but stay with me for a second.
“Not getting pushed” around means that you are not psychologically intimidated by the ginormous wall of flesh standing across from you in the ring.
It also has a literal meaning in that if you are pushed out of the ring, you lose.
How to Be a Sumo Talker
So, if you are talking to a woman, NEVER let her push you around during your approach or in conversation.
In fact, the second she feels like she can push you around with her good looks or “what makes you think you can talk to me?” attitude, you’re out of the ring and you lose.
This doesn’t mean being mean or nasty in an insulting, unfunny way. It means holding your ground, deflecting, and pushing back with a slight smile and no hint of flop sweat forming.
Just picture a skinny, young sumo upstart trying to take down this 500+ lb. sumo giant here. Yes, the smaller youngster would get tossed around like a rag doll while the bigger guy would simply smile and welcome the next attack.
So, that’s you at your most attractive.
You pick on her in a funny way. She picks on you, but you are unfazed and even amused at her efforts.
Even if she tells you “you are the UGLIEST guy I have ever met in my entire life and I wouldn’t date you if my life depended on it,” you remain unmoved, unaffected.
Maybe you even playfully fire back with “Wow. If I knew you were this charming, I would have come over way sooner…”
This is an extreme example, but you get the point.
Why Strength Always Wins
You already know from this article here that a guy with a masculine, confident edge always wins with women over a wimpy guy.
You know that the moment you are agreeing with everything she says, sucking up to her every way possible, and letting her best you in any way, you are being “pushed out of the ring” (you lose).
So, why do us guys always default to acting like a Jello-spined, smiley faced suck-up around beautiful women? Simple.
We look at her like she’s that big, hulking sumo opponent and we hesitate out of fear and then try to “nice” our way towards success.
I’ve done it. You’ve done it. We’ve all done it.
The part we have to remember is that you can only “nice” your way into the Friend Zone but not into her mind, heart, or pants. Why is this?
Because, most women are ATTRACTED to guys who show strength in some form or another.
I’m not talking about your muscles alone. I’m talking about your character, your personality, and your ability to handle adversity.
Remember, YOU have the choice to think like this:
- You can decide to own your space when talking to a new woman
- You can decide that there is nothing that she can say or do to bring you down
- You can decide that you are talking to her in YOUR world and you own the whole goddamned ring and no one’s pushing you out of it, ever
When you think like that, you’ll be shocked at how women see you as a dating prospect and not just a pest or worst of all, a friend (cringe, shudder, cringe).
What You Need to Remember
The next time you find yourself talking to an attractive woman, remember these ideas:
- If she picks on you a little, pick on her back a little more (in a fun, playful way)
- She’ll find you more attractive if you are not easily pushed around
- Save the compliments for LATER, after you’ve earned her respect by showing her that you’re not a guy who is easily impressed or manipulated
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