If you’ve ever been fishing, you know that the only thing worse than never getting a bite is to hook a big one – only to have it get away.
It’s the same way when it comes something less slimy and scaly (hopefully) but equally slippery. You know, women.
Yes, we’ve all been there.
Remember when it happened to you?
You and her had a great first chat. You got her number. You called. She took forever to call back only to tell you that she is “too busy to date, not looking to meet someone right now,” etc..
Or worse, maybe she never called you back.
Is it your fault? Honestly, who knows.
Still, here are a few things you can do to increase your chances of her returning your call:
Relive the Moment
If you’ve put any effort into learning to talk to women, you know that you have to be a bit challenging but still keep things light and fun in the beginning.
Maybe when you chatted her up for the first time, you two shared a few laughs and that’s what made it easier for her to give you her number.
Now, unless she was in love with you at first sight, she may have forgotten a lot about you days later.
Of course, you could leave her a message like this:
“Sarah! It’s Dan. So, that weird guy with the purple Mohawk who works at Starbucks keeps asking me about you. I know you said he’s kinda scary but who knows, you might be soul mates. If it’s true love, let me know and I’ll hook you guys up. Call me.”
What’s good about a message like this?
When you relive a moment you two shared, it reminds her why you are the guy she should be calling back over all the others.
Women are all about making connections.
So relive yours with her and you’ll stand out in a big way.
With Voice mail, Quality Beats Quantity
Have you ever received a long, rambling message from someone and felt inspired to quickly call them back? Probably not.
Most long voice mails are annoying because you can clearly tell that the person put no thought into what they were saying.
Worse, if you are being deluged with details, your curiosity is never piqued because of the confusing message.
So, how long should your message be?
Under 30 seconds (or under 20 seconds if you’re really good).
If you think that’s too hard, just consider this formula:
- Remind her of a joke or conversation point you two shared
- Use a hook question or comment (e.g., “You won’t believe what happened after we talked the other day…” or “I wanna know if you’ve heard of this book. I’m pretty sure you’ll want to read it tonight…” or similar)
- Use energy and replay yourself with the Re-Do Voice mail feature until you DON’T sound boring!
Why does short and sweet work so well?
Easy. Most guys don’t do it. So remember this equation for voice mail success:
Relevancy + Energy + Brevity = Interest
Don’t get deleted like Mikey from Swingers (click here to learn how NOT to leave a voice mail for a woman!).
Invite Her Out
“Whoa! Don’t I first need to have a long drawn-out conversation with her before I convince her to go out with me?” you might inquire.
No, you don’t.
In some cases, when a woman gives you her number, she later changes her mind about meeting anyone new. If this happens, there’s not much you can do to get her to call back.
BUT, in a lot of cases, she’s curious about you.
She wants more information and might very well be open to learning more about you over a drink or a cup of coffee.
If you know the Six Words That Get You Dates Like Crazy, you know that doing things in a simple, “no big deal” kind of way works wonders.
Now, a long, traditional date is a big deal (so stay away from this at first).
A “no big deal” outing is just a low-pressure reason for her to meet you out somewhere.
Using the first two points, you could very easily ask something like “I know you said you love comedy and Duncan Trussell is at the Improv on Thursday. He’s beyond hilarious. Let me know if you wanna go.”
So, that’s like eight seconds of your 20 second, irresistibly-magnetic voice mail. The best part is that you won’t waste time wondering about her interest level in you.
If it’s lukewarm to hot, she’ll get back to you and you already have the first date set up.
If you get no response, you won’t waste time sitting around waiting, wondering, and worrying. You’ll be on to the next one.
What You Need to Remember
- Whether it’s a message, email, or text, try to mention a point of connection you two already shared (or some variation)
- Keep it short and use energy when speaking
- Invite her to a fun outing or event that you’re “already going to.”
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