Note: The following is a reader submission from Gary S. He is one of three winners from our “World’s Worst Rejection Story” of last month.
Several years ago, I met this girl at a local restaurant while I was waiting for my best friend to show up. My friend and I were supposed to meet up for a couple of drinks after a long work day and I had the pleasure of getting caught up in a stimulating conversation with this very cute hostess.
She had a beautiful, feminine voice, pretty blue eyes, and best of all she laughed at all my corny jokes.
We hit it off immediately.
Before I left the restaurant, I was able to get her number and we made plans for a date the following Friday.
Friday night came and I ended up having my best friend and his date join us out for the night. We all met up at La Pace, a fancy Italian place that offered up dishes like Spaghetti Bolognese and fried squid.
The conversation went well and everybody seemed to have a good time.
The only thing that irked me a little was that my girl seemed to be paying a little bit too much attention to my friend.
She seemed to hold eye contact with him a little longer than I thought necessary and maybe smiled a little too much in his direction.
And he was not shy in returning the favor.
I kind of disregarded their subtle flirtatious behavior towards each other.
I just said to myself “that’s just the way he is,” and I knew he would never go for a girl that I was interested in.
Boy was I wrong about that one.
When I dropped her off I tried to go in for a clumsy kiss but she turned her face and I ended up pecking her shoulder. She waved a quick good night and that was that.
I tried calling her a few times over the next week but she didn’t pick up and she wasn’t returning any of my calls.
Finally, I just gave up.
The Worst Part
About a month later, I drove by the same restaurant of our first date and noticed a couple walking hand in hand together inside the restaurant.
I recognized them instantly.
It was the hostess and my best friend!
My heart sank in my chest. I felt like I was numb.
How could she do this? Better yet, how could he do it?
That rejection sucked BIG time, but here’s what I learned from that experience:
Mind Your Competition
If you have a friend and you know he fancies himself as kind of a ladies man, do not bring him around any girl that you might be interested in at first.
I mean, I know there are a lot of loyal friends out there but beautiful girls have a way of turning friends against each other.
I think they like to see other men competing over them – even if it means breaking up a friendship.
So, watch this one.
No Group First Dates
Double dating might be a way to ease the pressure and anxiety that goes with hanging out with somebody new, but I don’t recommend it – particularly on the first date.
I think it’s best for two people to hang out with each other in a social setting and get to know each other that way, but save the group dates for when you know she actually likes you.
Note: If you disagree with this, see my last point.
Be Subtle About Getting Feedback
It is important to understand a girl’s body language.
It tells you all you need to know about how she feels about you and where the relationship is going.
If the date seems like it has taken a turn for the worse do not ask the girl multiple times if she is okay or if something’s wrong.
Looking back, maybe there was nothing I could have done (and I’m okay with that). Or, looking back, maybe I could have sensed things were not going well and tried something different.
Maybe it would have helped if we changed locations, or if I had asked my friend to back off a little, or if I just focused on having fun instead of thinking negatively. Who knows.
What I do know is this:
When you suffer a setback with a woman, don’t beat yourself up but try to see if you can learn something when looking back.
I did and I’ll never make those same mistakes again.
- Gary S.
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