In the scope of human history, there has been no one man who has obtained the affection and/or devotion of every single woman he desired.
The truth is, every guy has been rejected by a woman at some point. Every guy has had at least one failed relationship with a woman.
Plus, every guy has also questioned himself after things didn’t work out with a woman. Rejection by women is an ever-present facet of the male experience.
Now, how you handle rejection is usually an indicator of how you view yourself.
That is, are you a grown man or an angry boy?
Is She Really That Great?
If you are a grown man, you understand that it takes time to learn about the true character of a woman.
You don’t base your feelings about her solely on her looks.
“Sure she’s gorgeous…but what’s behind those looks? Is she smart? Is she funny? Or, is she a total emotional train wreck inside?” you might ask.
So, you should always take the time to get to really know her – for your own good.
If she happens to like you, great. If things don’t work out, oh well.
No matter what, you don’t get that upset because you don’t know what you lost.
Plus, as a grown-up man, you have a life away from women.
You know who you are and what you want (i.e., happiness in your life is not based solely on approval from women).
Why NOT Caring Can Help You
Now, if you act like a scared little boy, every defeat with women is cause for deep frustration, anger, or negative bouts of needless introspection.
Just like dropping an ice-cream cone as a little boy caused you to get mad and kick the ground, so too does rejection from a woman.
Yes, every little defeat or setback in life becomes cause for worry or some kind of emotional downturn. Why?
Because, you care too much. You care about what you did “wrong.” You care about what you said “wrong.”
You care about what she thinks about every little part of you as if she’s the only attractive woman on the planet.
What is reality?
Dropped your ice cream? Replace it.
Got nowhere with a woman you barely know? Replace her.
As a guy who has cared too much over the years, I can say this with some certainty:
Caring too much about a woman you don’t know well is a mistake.
Strangely, women seem to feel more comfortable with a new guy if he’s not worried about “how things are goings.”
They feel more comfortable if the guy is not trying too hard.
They like a guy who doesn’t care too much.
The Real Secret
Okay, so at this point, you may be asking this question:
“Alright. I get it. Stop caring so much, but that’s WAY easier said than done.”
So, what’s the secret to not caring too much? Simple.
Until she is your steady girlfriend, always be mindful of your other options during all parts of the dating process.
If the only attractive woman you know is that pretty blonde working at the bank, then you will be seriously nervous when you finally ask her for her number.
If you think about the cute girl at the bookstore who likes your jokes, the three hot girls you are talking to on Chemistry.com, and the pretty friend-of-a-friend you are meeting out on Friday, how will your approach to that bank teller be then?
That’s right, you won’t care as much.
Trust me, women can sense this state in a guy and strangely, it actually makes you MORE attractive.
If you are approaching a woman in a bar but also thinking about the three other girls you plan to talk to, do you think you will care as much if she brushes you off. No, you won’t care at all.
What You Need to Remember
- Until she is your girlfriend, it’s okay to think about other women you might want to date
- Ditch your romantic fantasy daydreaming until you figure out if she’s worth it
- Stop caring so much in the beginning
“The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.”
- Bill Murray, Sofia Coppola