• You get SO angry because you thought you were doing everything right
• You wonder what is wrong with women when they can’t appreciate a Nice Guy
• You consider acting like a total asshole because it seems like that’s what women want

If you’ve ever thought like this, you’re not alone.

So, if you want more or better women, you just have to turn yourself into a Bad Boy, right?

No. You can learn how to succeed like a Bad Boy even if you’re not one, but becoming one is an altogether different story.

What is the problem with simply becoming a Bad Boy?

Simple. Bad Boys are called “bad” for a reason because some part of them is broken.

What is the Real Bad Boy Attraction About?

You see a guy with tons of tattoos, a leather jacket, and he’s smoking a Marlboro red atop his Harley. Does that make him a Bad Boy?

Who knows? He might be a Nice Guy. He might be a total jerk.

What does define a Bad Boy is how he treats women and how he sees himself deep down inside.

Yes you may have heard that women like Bad Boys because they’re confident, exciting, and unpredictable.

Here’s the part you rarely hear about:

A lot of women are attracted to Bad Boys because they are disposable.

That is, when a woman just wants sex or fun, she looks to a Bad Boy because she secretly knows she’ll have no future with him.

Women never talk about this but it’s the same impulse that drives a guy to sleep with the sexually-aggressive girl who has a spectacular body and a “so-so” face.

Yes, he wants to sleep with her but does NOT see her as a girlfriend or a wife.

Also, some women are drawn to Bad Boys because they like the challenge of a “fixer-upper.”

Weird how this works, huh?

When you look closer, most true Bad Boys fit into one or more of these categories:

Broke Bad Boy

He doesn’t do flowers, nice dinners, or gifts because, as he says, “that’s not my style.”

He never gives the impression that he’ll be a good provider (or even contributor) in a relationship because, as he says, “I like to roll free.”

He disappears for days at a time because he needs his “space.”

What’s the real reason he doesn’t do all the normal things guys do when they like a woman?

He’s always broke.

He needs his free time because he is always on the hustle. Always trying to figure out how to make money and pay his bills.

If you want to be like him, do the following:

• Don’t keep a regular job
• Don’t pay your bills
• When you can’t afford to go out with a woman, make it seem like it’s her fault

Note: Don’t actually do this.

Emotionally-Damaged Bad Boy

He’s been in love before and got hurt. He’s been abandoned. He secretly mistrusts every woman he meets.

Deep down inside, he doesn’t think he is good enough.

A good example of this type of Bad Boy is Jesse James – the famous ex-husband of Sandra Bullock.

Even though he cheated (repeatedly) on one of the most beautiful actresses in the world, he admitted that much of his actions came from feelings of unworthiness.

This is especially true when considering this quote from his interview with Howard Stern:

“I married America’s sweetheart, and she’s one of the biggest stars in the world, but I’m still this f***ed up kid from Long Beach [CA]“

If you want to be this type of Bad Boy, do the following:

• Never see yourself as good enough for any woman you date
• Assume that even if you get sex, she won’t respect you as a man
• Assume you will be “found out” and left, so ruin things ahead of schedule

Note: Don’t actually do this.

Late Bloomer Bad Boy

He lost his virginity late in life. He hasn’t slept with a lot of women. He has something to prove to his friends and himself.

This type of Bad Boy might be the worst one of all because many of these type of guys are former “Nice Guys.”

The problem here is that this type of guy is always on the hunt and misses out on opportunities for a real, satisfying relationship with a quality woman.

A Late Bloomer Bad Boy will ultimately choose sporadic sex from several shallow, unfulfilling relationships over consistent sex with one good woman.

If you want to be like this kind of Bad Boy, do the following:

• Treat all women like they’re only good for sex
• Compare yourself to other guys who claim to have a lot of partners (even if they’re lying)
• Choose quantity over quality

Note: Don’t actually do this.

What You Need to Remember

At this point, you might be griping this:

“Okay, I get it. Bad Boys are messed up but they STILL get girls and Nice Guys don’t! What the hell am I supposed to do?”

Simple.

Don’t be a Bad Boy because that’s not you.

Don’t be a Nice Guy either. Women mistake “niceness” for weakness and are turned off by it.

If you are a classic Nice Guy who is struggling with women, read this article here on how to kill your Nice Guy side for good.

Be this:

A Good Guy with a little bit of a Bad Boy side.

That’s an easier change to accomplish and you’ll cast a way wider net in the dating pool.

Most importantly, NEVER worry about the Bad Boys. There will always be women girls out there who love the Bad Boys. That will never change.

You just need to find the one woman who wants someone just like you.

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Women are dumb.

Moreover, they are transparent creatures whose every move can be predicted simply by planning ahead – just as you would in a chess game.

If you are a master of strategy and covert maneuvering, you can outsmart a woman every step of the way and get her to do whatever you want.

Soon enough, she’ll be jumping out of her clothes and into your bed in no time, right?

No (but, you already knew that).

How Your High I.Q. Can Hurt You

Let’s face it, most of us guys think way too damn much.

By nature, men are thinkers, planners, and strategists. If there is a goal in mind, there must be a plan – a blueprint for success at every step of the way.

Sadly, these tactics fail miserably in the game of love and attraction – especially if you have a high I.Q.

Why?

Because, women don’t respond to tactics, strategy, or logic. They respond to feelings and emotions – ones that you can’t see or even begin to understand.

While you’re executing some brilliant machination or engaging in some type of Machiavellian posturing – she’s hoping for a spark or connection.

She’s looking for some kind of organic, romantic development (not necessarily with you only, of course).

BUT, none of this matters because you are too busy plotting, scheming, and guessing…

The Fastest Cure

What’s the cure for all of this? Easy.

Stop thinking so much.

Stop thinking you can (or need to) outsmart a woman with the goal of getting her to like you or sleep with you.

Even if you are a PhD in theoretical physics, you are still not smart enough to think your way into every woman’s heart (or pants).

Try focusing in on having fun.

Try focusing in on letting things progress naturally.

Try focusing on just enjoying every moment with her.

How To Use This Information

• Around an attractive woman, calm your mind and focus
• Listen to her so carefully that you can restate in your own words what she is telling you (or trying to tell you)
• Stop planning and guessing and give her the breathing room she needs to develop a connection to you on her own schedule

THIS is the secret for succeeding with women used by ALL highly intelligent guys I know.

It’s actually a “workaround” for guys who over-analyze and apply logic and strategy. In other words, guys who think too much then are later astounded why the women has lost interest.

The workaround is this:

Acknowledge the fact that no matter how brilliant you are, you must approach each woman like a fascinating new subject that you know nothing about.

You’re not interrogating her. You’re not analyzing her. You’re not profiling her.

You’re discovering her (hopefully all of her, if you are lucky).

Want More?

For a 100% free 20-page guide on how to start conversations with women in any situation, click here to download the free ebook Pick-Up Lines: The Five Golden Rules.

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“Yeah, that sounds good in theory but you can’t generalize…and here’s an exception to what you just said…”

No matter what you tell that guy, it won’t matter.

He only wants to be right by showing you how wrong you are.

He’s not trying to help.

He’s just being a douche-bag.

You CAN Generalize

The truth is, we live in a world based on generalizing. Each time you drive to work, you generalize that you’ll drive safely and you won’t wreck your car.

Now, somewhere in the world, a guy is leaving for work right now and he will wreck his car very soon.

Still, your generalization is a good one for the majority of cases of people who get to work unscathed.

Plus, you generalized based on hundreds of real first-hand experiences.

This is how all the information on this site works.

Whether you want some style advice or you want to learn some solid tips for to talking to women, it’s all the same.

It never works 100% of the time for all women. It works for a good majority of attractive women who all experience the same routines from most men.

Still, tell this to the same know-it-all who just warned you that “you can’t generalize” and he or she will be quick to offer their own stock bad advice in place of yours.

Here is some of the worst advice:

Just Be Yourself

This is a popular one among moms, aunts, grandmas, and any other woman who wants to sound really sincere and encouraging.

They will never tell you to hit the gym, get a better hairstyle, or to stop being so nice and accommodating.

They will never tell you to check out a local Toastmasters club because you speak with zero confidence.

They will never, ever tell you what the type of woman you really want desires in a man.

What’s better advice?

• Make a list of ways you can improve yourself within a month or less
• Imagine you’ve already accomplished everything on your list
• Act like that fearless, confident guy you will become – starting today

Act Like a Jerk Because Women Love Jerks

I don’t know about you, but anytime I act like a mean, unfunny jerk, I tend to get treated like one.

The women that have told me this bad advice usually leave out one big part. They leave out the part about how the “jerks” they loved were good-looking, talented, or funny.

For example, there is this guy named Charlie Sheen who is notorious for being a jerk. Perhaps you’ve heard of him?

Now, Charlie’s bad behavior is not only forgiven, but serves to attract a multitude of women. Why?

Because he is a rich, famous, and talented celebrity.

In this case, his rebellious jerk side is balanced out by some other attractive qualities. If he were Charlie Sheen, the unknown, unfunny Joe Regular, he might have a very hard time with women.

The lesson here? Unless you already have some very attractive qualities and being a jerk comes naturally, don’t be one and think that supermodels will make a bee-line for you.

What’s better advice?

• Don’t try to be a jerk
• Don’t be the guy who sucks up and tries to win her over with artificial and fake niceness
• Be a Good Guy who doesn’t get pushed around

It’s All Just a Numbers Game

This may be the worst advice of all and every time I hear it, I CRINGE.

Why? Because, it implies that the more times you fail, the closer you are to success.

Do you really believe this to be true during a long, painful dry spell??

I don’t.

What if you live in a small town?

What if you don’t have the time, energy, or money to go out all the time to “play the numbers game?”

What if you already know a woman with whom you’d like to have a relationship?

In all these cases, hitting on and failing with scores of women will most likely not get you closer to the type of woman you really want.

What’s better advice?

• Don’t focus on numbers, focus on “stacking the deck” in your favor by working everyday on how you look, talk, and walk
• If you feel like what you’re doing is not working, try a different approach (this rule even applies if you are trying something you read on this site!)

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Life gets busy and staying in shape and eating right can take a backseat to everything else.

I’ve been there. You’ve been there. We’ve all been there.

When that happens, most guys have a good reason to feel bad about their bodies.

It’s good because it motivates them to change and improve.

Of course, there are some really dumb reasons a lot of guys have a poor body image.

Here are the top three:

Believing Men’s Magazines

Yes, I enjoy reading a wide variety of magazines for guys.

I get information on exercise routines, supplements, style, grooming tips, and a wide variety of other topics.

Of course, for many guys, these same magazines can have this darker effect:

Representations of “perfect” men can harm male body image.

If you look at them enough, you may think that your lack of six pack abs and huge chest and arms means women will not be attracted to your body.

Or, you may see the skinnier Calvin Klein type models and think that’s what women want too.

Now, I won’t insult your intelligence and tell you that women don’t find those magazine models attractive. Of course they do.

What I will say is this:

Women have a wide variety of male body types that they can find attractive.

For example, I have one female friend who has openly stated her attraction to the following actors:

• Kevin James – Husky build
• Adam Sandler – Average build
• Orlando Bloom – Skinny build

Yes, they are rich and famous celebrities, but when I asked her why she liked them, she talked about humor, talent, and charisma more than anything else.

So, if you’re like me and you’re not built like a comic book action hero, relax.

Women don’t mind as much as you think.

Comparing Yourself to Male Porn Stars

Online porn is a wonderful thing and so representative of reality, right?

Well, if you feel any shame about the variety of things you have to look at to complete “pants-down time” on your computer, maybe porn is not that great.

Shame leads to lowered self-esteem and confidence. You don’t have to be a psychologist to understand that.

One writer even theorizes that porn might be driving men crazy.

Whether or not this is true is unknown.

What is known is that the male stars of adult films can seem like the “standard” for male attractiveness.

In other words, to be desirable to women, you may think you need these features:

• Large, muscular chest and arms
• Six pack abs
• Large, perfectly-straight and circumcised penis

The effect porn can play on your body image is similar to men’s magazines except it’s way more personal.

It’s personal because if your private parts don’t “measure up” to those of adult performers, you may feel bad about yourself.

What’s reality?

Most women could care less about a man’s size and shape as long as everything works and the overall attraction is there.

Don’t believe me? Ask a woman.

Wearing Poor Fitting Clothes

It’s always amazing to me the effect that clothes can have on your mind.

When things fit well, you look good and you feel good.

When things are tight, you think, “I gotta lose a few.”

When things are baggy (but you’re skinny), you think, “Man, time to go on steroids.”

Or worse, when you have several pounds to lose and you wear baggy clothing, you might see yourself in the mirror as WAY fatter than you actually are!

Not good.

It’s not good because you’re poor-fitting clothes are affecting your perception of your actual body composition.

The solution here is simple:

Learn how to dress right for your body type.

When you like how you look in your clothes, you will almost always feel a boost of confidence.

Whether you’re trying to bulk up or trim down, getting clothes that fit well today is money well spent.

What You Need to Remember

The worst part about these dumb causes for poor body image is that they lead to these thoughts of never being good enough:

• My muscles aren’t big enough
• My stomach isn’t ripped and “shredded”
• My manhood is undesirable because it’s not like the kind guys have in porn

Lesson here?

If you aren’t happy with your body but you’re working on it, don’t see things as worse than they are.

Women will notice and sniff out your insecurity in a heartbeat.

Plus, if any guy tells you that you need a perfect body to date the most desirable women, remember this:

That idea is 100% bullshit.

I know guys with average bodies who have very attractive girlfriends or wives. I know guys who could model underwear who struggle with women.

Bottom line: Attitude is king, no matter how you look.

Want More?

If you feel bad about yourself when flipping through men’s magazines, check out this post here:

How to Learn from Men’s Magazines and NOT Get Depressed

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This would be especially true if you were passionate for some activity that cut you off from regular social contact.

In those days, you might be classified as a “nerd.”

Today, being tech-savvy or just into brainy things can be a real advantage – not just professionally but socially as well.

What’s better, being a geek does not necessarily mean that you’ll suffer the same stigma as the nerds of yesteryear.

You just have to know a few things about being the kind of geek that women love.

Here are a few ideas:

Embrace Your Geek Side

No matter what job or hobby you have that makes you a geek, how people perceive you is up to you.

I have this buddy who works with high-tech manufacturing equipment.

Now, to a normal person, this may sound kind of boring but my friend explains it with a lot of passion and excitement. He also makes no secret about his ambitiousness in his field.

I have seen women very interested in his work after he explains it.

Can you do the same for yourself?

If you’re not sure, try explaining your unique hobby, passion, or profession to a stranger in a way that makes your passion or excitement shine through.

If you can do this simple exercise (over and over) and at least keep someone’s attention, you’ll be nicely prepared when mentioning it to a new woman.

Lose the Intellectual Cockiness

Whenever you are out somewhere and you see a guy who is in awesome shape and dressed well, what do you think?

Well, it all depends on how he carries himself and how he talks.

If he brags a lot and struts around like he knows he looks good, you might think he is a cocky jerk. If he is humble, laid-back, and friendly, you might think he is a cool guy.

Well, the same ideas apply to how women are attracted to men.

An otherwise attractive guy may have a cocky attitude that is a huge turn off to most women.

When it comes to your intellectual muscles, you might be guilty of intellectual cockiness if you do any of the following:

• Make others feel bad because you know something they don’t know
• Talk endlessly about a subject just to show how smart you are
• Are overly sarcastic in an unfunny way

Believe me, I have seen these behaviors ruin some very smart friends of mine during their interactions with women.

Don’t be like them.

Understand Your Achilles Heel

Whatever it is about you that makes you a geek, you already know that you should embrace it, own it, and use your geek skills to get out there and meet new people.

Of course, if you embrace your geek side too much, you may find that your social circle dwindles to a point that you become completely alone.

When I was in high school, I spent a lot of time reading science fiction novels and hanging out with a close-knit group of guys (all of whom were as single and dateless as me).

Yes, I was invited to parties or events, but I chose not to leave the safety and comfort of my small circle of friends.

Subsequently, many interactions with women could best be described as awkward (for her and me). This happened from a basic lack of practice and my unwillingness to “put myself out there.”

Not good.

A short time later, I understood what my Achilles Heel was.

Justifiable Social Retreat.

I always had an excuse for not socializing because I had “more important things” to do.

In reality, my lack of confidence and desire to stay in my comfort zone killed my chances – even with some girls who asked me out on dates directly!

Maybe you have the same Achilles Heel.

Maybe you think that staying home to play World of Warcraft is a better use of time when you could be out with friends.

Is it wrong to do that?

No, as long as you understand that it’s not an effective strategy for meeting real women any more than staying home to watch online porn all night is either.

What You Need to Remember

• Never apologize for the passions that excite you – even if they are viewed as “geeky”
• Flaunting your intellect or speaking with a condescending tone is a turn-off to women
• Be mindful of your tendency to retreat from social occasions or opportunities to meet new women

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No, I’m not going to geek out and give you some algorithmic formula for saying all the right things to women.

I’m talking about this very simple, time-tested formula for being more attractive to women:

Work on yourself.

Here are three ways to use your smartphone to work toward a more attractive you:

Work on Those Pipes

If you ask any woman to tell you who has a sexier voice between George Clooney and Mickey Mouse, they most likely will choose George (hopefully).

The reason women give high marks to George Clooney’s voice is not just because he is a rich, famous, and handsome celebrity. It’s because he has the type of deep voice women prefer.

Plus, Mr. Clooney speaks in a very confident, energetic, and fluid manner.

Now, I could give you all the scientific reasons in the world why women prefer this type of voice in men, but the reason is simple.

Speaking this way is just plain manly.

If you want to train yourself to sound more manly and confident, use your smartphone’s recording features to work on this stuff.

Personally, I am a big fan of recording myself talking, listening back, then re-recording until I’m confident with what I hear.

Yes, when you try this, you WILL cringe a BUNCH of times like I did.

However, if you keep up this practice of working out your speaking voice, you will magically learn how to say anything in a more confident, convincing, and attractive tone.

Smooth Out Your Moves

Just like recording your voice holds up a mirror to a part of you rarely examined, using your smartphone’s video function can do the same for your posture and movement.

If you were able to conquer your discomfort of recording your voice and playing it back, you may want to turn things up a bit.

Try propping up your smartphone somehow and video record yourself walking, talking, sitting, or doing just about anything you want.

Just like when you record your voice, the playback will reveal things about you that make you squirm with discomfort, but if this happens, this is good!

Why? Because, you just found out some things about you that you can eliminate to make you a more confident you.

I do have to warn you that when you are doing any of these exercises, you may tell yourself, “This is SO stupid. What am I doing here??”

If this happens, stay with it.

Over time, you will reach a point where you think you sound good in your recordings and you think you look good on camera (or at least not cringe-worthy).

When you reach this point, you’ll be shocked at how much more self-aware and confident you are as a guy (especially around women).

Snap Your Way to More Style

One thing I have always struggled with is knowing what clothes to buy.

Now, if you are naturally blessed at knowing which clothes make you look your best, you’re ahead of most guys.

For the rest of us fashion-challenged guys, using the camera function on your smartphone is a great way to quickly grab shopping and style ideas.

Here are some things you may want to snap:

• Clothing items you like from stores or magazines
• Shoes or accessories you like from stores or magazines
• Clothing items you already have (to remember when pairing up with new purchases)

By keeping a record of style ideas and possibilities in your smartphone, you’ll save time and money when doing your actual shopping.

Why does this work so well?

Simple. You won’t waste your hard earned dollars on items that don’t really make you look your best.

Plus, you can laser focus on purchasing actual items (or similar items) that you’ve “pre-shopped” ahead of time.

The Most Important Part

Yes, all of these techniques will lead to a more attractive you, but don’t forget one major item regarding your smartphone.

That is, your iPhone, Blackberry, or Droid phone is NOT a fashion accessory.

Put it in your pocket and leave it there until it’s time to pull it out because you’re taking down her phone number, email, Facebook info, etc..

Unless you’re at work or your name is Dr. “Bones” McCoy, it simply will never look good dangling from your person.

Trust me on this one (as a fellow reformed Geek, I learned this one the hard way).

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How about Men’s Health or any other fitness magazine for guys?

Do you remember how you felt after seeing a male model with ripped abs with some hot chick at his side?

I know how I used to feel when I saw this kind of thing. Bad.

I felt bad because I figured that you had to be like that guy to get that type of girl.

I felt bad reading the style magazines because I didn’t have a Rolex Submariner, a $2,500.00 Armani tux, and $600 pair of Italian loafers (because that’s what the girl in the picture would want me to have).

Why You Might Feel Bad

If you really think about it, the point of all magazines is to generate advertising revenue through content. It’s their basic business model that has worked for decades.

Now, the content in most of these magazines is usually interesting, useful, and very well written. Also, it’s not the content that makes you feel bad, per se.

What makes you feel bad is the pictures and advertisements…if you let them.

You might have those same thoughts I had thinking “nothing I have is good enough” or “I’m not good enough.”

Then, conveniently nearby is some book, pair of shoes, watch, workout supplement, or cologne that you need to have to get the girl.

Why You Shouldn’t Feel Bad

Once you accept the fact that ads in men’s magazines are motivated toward getting you to buy something, you’ll be more clear on the following realities:

• Advertisements are designed to play on your emotions and insecurities
• Most women are not dating guys who are rich and super fashionable with 6% body fat
• Those high-priced items in men’s magazines are nice-to-haves not need-to-haves

I can honestly say that I don’t feel bad when looking at fitness or style magazines.

Why? Because, I can tell the difference between ad messages and reality.

Let me go one step further here and ask you how you feel when you see spam emails. You usually don’t feel bad, right?

Even if it’s an ad for getting rich quickly, losing weight, or “increasing that certain part of a man’s body” (as one ad says), you know it’s just an ad to sell you something.

What’s more interesting is that you don’t feel bad looking at spam ads – not because they’re poorly written, but because their agenda is clearly exposed.

If you approach men’s magazines with the same mindset, you will feel a lot better about yourself.

Their Real Value

Notice how I never said that men’s magazines are evil?

Honestly, I have a few subscriptions to men’s magazines and I read them regularly.

Here’s what I get out of them:

• Style ideas for clothes, shoes, and accessories
• Tips for putting together outfits to look my best
• Workout and diet tips plus tricks for staying motivated
• Grooming and general health ideas
• Interesting conversational topics

Don’t Be Like Jeff

I have this friend “Jeff” who is decent-looking and very intelligent. He is also terrible with women.

He’s not bad in the way that women won’t talk to him. They just won’t date him. Why?

Because, Jeff dresses like crap.

I once told him to check out a particular men’s magazine if he wanted to improve his style a bit.

His response to me: “No thanks. That magazine is gay.”

The last time I checked, Jeff was getting dumped by a woman who was older AND heavier than him.

Lesson? Don’t be like Jeff.

If you can open your mind to ideas and information that help you look your best, you’ll have the advantage.

You’ll blow past all the Jeffs of the world and get the girl – and there’s nothing “gay” about that.

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Being successful with women is kind of the same.

You may have friends or acquaintances who could really help you with women. A lot.

You may also have friends who are ruining your love life without even knowing it.

These “friends” can actually increase your chances for rejection with new women.

What’s the takeaway here? Simple.

If you want more success with women, hang out with the friends who help.

Avoid or rehabilitate the friends who don’t.

Here are the top four “frenemies” who can ruin your chances with new women:

1. The Downer

He’s always depressed and you have to practically beg him to come out with you somewhere.

Whether you’re going to trivia night at the pub or grabbing food at a restaurant, you can’t count on him when there’s a group of women to be approached.

Why is he so depressing when it comes to women?

Because, he believes that attractive women only want guys who are rich and/or very good looking.

This type of buddy most definitely has not read this article here on the strange truth about looks, money, and attraction (and why he is so wrong).

He’s a terrible wingman because he’ll drag his negativity about past women into interactions with future women.

Even if one girl in a group likes you, her friends may drag her away just to get away from your downer of a buddy.

Lesson: Hang out with the Downer in private, not in public where you might meet new women.

2. The Dateless Know-It-All

You probably have at least one friend or acquaintance that falls into this category.

Yes, he’s read tons of articles online about picking up women. He claims he understands the “psychology of the female mind” much better than you do.

He’s always very authoritative during conversations about “what women want” but there’s one problem…

He doesn’t get girls.

He gets little attention from women. No phone numbers or emails. No dates. Nothing.

It’s always funny for me how little talk I hear about women from my buddies who are good with women.

That’s because they are too busy talking to women and less busy analyzing them.

Lesson: Hang out with guys who take action with women and avoid the ones that don’t.

3. The Style Challenged

He’s wearing dirty sneakers or old, scuffed dress shoes with jeans that look 20 years out of style.

Maybe he even suffers from some of the top ten common grooming mistakes of men.

He’s a great guy and a loyal friend.

You just don’t want him with you when you’re meeting new women.

Pretty ruthless, right?

Maybe, but we don’t live in a world where everyone sings Kum Ba Yah and looks for “inner beauty” first and foremost.

A woman’s looks matter to you and yours to her. If she and her friends spent hours looking good they probably hope to meet guys who also take care of themselves too – even if just a little.

If you are well-dressed and groomed and your buddy looks a little “rough around the edges,” your combined appeal drops.

Lesson: Help your style and grooming challenged buddies change and they’ll make better wingmen.

4. The Jealous Wingman

It’s not impossible that your buddy will also be attracted to a woman you’re pursuing.

Of course, if you follow the basic laws of a wingman, you know that a wingman’s number one job is to help his buddy with the new woman.

Still, I’ve seen many guys break this protocol due to jealousy.

Their jealousy usually comes out in these ways:

• He shares unflattering stories or facts about you
• He hits on a woman you are pursuing
• He tries to undermine you in anyway

Usually this type of behavior comes from an acquaintance or friend of a friend.

How do you handle it? Simple.

If a guy is hurting your chances with a woman, pull him aside privately and ask him to stop what he’s doing.

Honestly, a lot of guys turn into jealous wingman just because of the male instinct to compete. They may not even know what they are doing at the time.

Lesson: Politely saying, “Hey man, I like her and I was here first. Can you just lay off?” can neutralize most jealous wingmen.

What You Need to Remember

• Surrounding yourself with guys who are good with women makes you better with women
• Spend more time meeting new women with guys who speak well of you
• Spend less time meeting women with guys who are negative or jealous

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I would see a pretty face and my heart rate would go up. I would see a nice body and my breathing would get more shallow. I would catch a whiff of some perfume and my mouth would dry up and my mind would go hopelessly blank.

Basically, I went from zero to a nervous mess in seconds.

The reason for this was that I was focusing on the physical side of the things, the attraction would grow in my mind, and it would affect everything about how I thought and spoke.

This was not good.

As I got older and met some guys who knew the secrets to looking truly relaxed and confident around women, I figured some things out.

I figured out that most of these guys were cooler around women because they were thinking these same ways:

Focus On Her Imperfections

Unless she’s a famous and talented celebrity, most beautiful women are intimidating because of their looks.

If you ever feel nervous or hesitant to talk an attractive, new woman, you understand this fact completely.

The part you don’t understand is your brain has a bad habit of ranking someone’s value VERY high just because they look good.

In reality, if you met her in pitch black darkness, you probably wouldn’t be nervous or intimidated one bit.

Want a workaround? Try this:

• Find and think about physical aspects of her that need improvement
• When talking to her, be aware of parts of her personality or life that are not perfect

If you’re doing this correctly, she will all of a sudden seem more human and more accessible.

When this happens, you’re confidence will increase dramatically.

Why?

Because, you realize that you have every right to pursue her since you both have something in common (i.e., you’re BOTH imperfect).

Think About Other Women

When I mentioned to a female friend that thinking about other women makes you more confident with any attractive woman, I got this response:

“Are you crazy! I don’t want a guy who’s thinking about other women. I want one who’s only thinking about me!”

Well, what my friend doesn’t know is that any guy who is talking to her is automatically thinking about her (because she is attractive). That’s not a problem.

What is a problem for guys is thinking too much about her, getting too excited too soon, and coming across as needy and desperate (all huge turn-offs).

The solution?

Simple. Think about other women you know (or don’t know) who are also attractive.

This “de-focusing” practice will help you relax and act more like a cautious seller and less of an enthusiastic buyer in the beginning.

Of course, once you’re dating her you can go back to giving her 100% of your focus and attention.

Keep Her Off the Pedestal

You can just imagine what my female friend said when I told her this advice. Yes, I’m crazy once again.

Of course, if you’re reading this, you may understand what I’m saying here because you once put a woman on a pedestal and were sorely let down.

Yes, you spent time your time, energy, and money on her.

You gave her the respect and attention all the other jerks she dated never would.

Then, you got ignored or you were put in the Friend Zone and you had no idea why the train went off the tracks.

I know how that feels and it’s not a good feeling. In fact, it sucks!

If you want to avoid that feeling, remember this:

“The only woman who deserves to be put on a pedestal is the one who puts you on a pedestal next to hers.”

If you put her on a pedestal too soon, you will certainly come across as nervous, unconfident, and trying way too hard.

In the end, being “cool” has nothing to with your clothes, your watch, or what kind of car you drive. It’s not about playing hard to get or being some aloof, deep-thinking douche bag type.

It’s about being relaxed, unimpressed, but still enthusiastic enough to show interest.

Yes, each guy has his own individual sweet-spot for coming across as “cool.”

Once you find it for yourself, you’ll know.

You’ll know because suddenly (and strangely), she’s trying to impress you. She’s trying to win you over.

She’s saying (without saying), “Hey, I’m cool too and let me show you all the reasons why…”

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What sort of guys do women mention as being most sexy?

Is it the rough ‘n rugged cowboy, biker, or rocker type?

How about the strong and silent fireman, policeman, or military man?

How about the sensitive artist, writer, or musician type?

Well, if you ask women to describe the world’s sexiest man, you’ll get a response as varied as asking about favorite ice cream flavors.

What Do Women Look For?

If you really look at the features of men women find most sexy, there seems to be a constant theme.

That is, most women like men who are really in touch with their own status as strong, virile guys.

These types of men are so confident in their masculinity, they can even embrace small feminine traits easily and unapologetically.

Still don’t get it?

Ask a woman if she thinks a fireman is sexy. Then tell her that the same fireman plays guitar and also mentors a 10-year-old fatherless boy in the Big Brother program.

Ask her if she likes a guy who is a software engineer. Then tell her the same guy also enjoys kickboxing and mountain biking in his spare time.

Or, ask her if she goes for the sensitive musician kinda guy? What if he was also the ass-kicking, tour de force behind his own record label?

Most likely, she will think that the guys with the more detailed descriptions are more attractive.

The Hottest Woman Ever

Why would the second version of each guy be more attractive?

Because, the second version of each guy has a nice combination of masculine and non-masculine traits.

Still confused?

Okay, let’s apply this idea to some girly-girl you meet out at the bar.

She dresses sexy, has a very sweet sounding voice and a very soft, feminine look.

BUT, when you talk to her she punches you in the arm and says, “Why didn’t you come talk to me sooner you big jerk?!”

When you do talk to her, you find out that she likes beer, video games, and rock music. Minutes later, she offers to buy you a drink.

Nice, huh? No…REALLY nice.

Lesson: a very feminine woman with a couple of masculine characteristics is hot, hot, hot.

How To Use This Information

So, how can this information help you? Easy.

If you are a very masculine guy, don’t be afraid of your softer side

• Don’t be afraid to dress well, embrace sensual experiences, or talk to a woman about her feelings (just a little)
• Surprise her that you’re not “too cool” to appreciate “non-manly” experiences
  

If you are more of an intellectual or creative type, embrace your masculine side

• Be decisive, take charge, and initiate as much as possible
• Never let her push you around (either joking around or for real)

When you operate from a firm base of unmistakable masculinity (80-90%) and can embrace your softer qualities (10-20%), your appeal comes back into balance.

That is, you’ve found the right proportion of qualities that will maximize your attractiveness to women.

What is most beautiful in virile men is something feminine; what is most beautiful in feminine women is something masculine.

- Susan Sontag